How do you want to feel?

We often talk about so-called "soft skills," like emotional intelligence, and "hard skills" like financial management.

The more I consider this, the stranger it seems to me in the world we're making. Where's the line? How are you going to use those "hard skills" with people? Won't you need some "soft skills" to make your work meaningful and relevant?

I'm not saying that you can be a successful financial manager without any financial comptetance, simply by being a nice person. It's obvious that such an approach is doomed to fail.

But in your work and your life, don't you put significant importance on how you feel, and how others "make" you feel?  Don't you prefer certain colleagues, hotels, bars and websites because you feel the way you want to feel with them? Isn't that pretty much the secret to service?

Humility, simplicity, passion

Humility, simplicity and passion are concepts that may not intially seem to go together. But the more I work with great people, the more I see these three chracteristics.

Humility is essential for beginner's mind, the great opener of doors. Humility encompasses openness and implies a focus on others as much as, or evern more than, focus on the self. It also implies self-confidence and authenticity.

Simplicity makes things easy, clears obstacles, allows flow.

Passion is really love manifested in action; it's contagious, it enables us to continue, to persevere, to forget ourselves in the doing.

Daily service: Feeling right

My husband is a wonderful teacher. He gives more as a teacher than any other I've encountered, and one of his secrets is that he puts "feeling right" ahead of preparation. For him, being in the right space to teach and to be present is the most important thing.

One of the things I love about the concept of feeling right is that it's highly personal. For many teachers, being completely prepared is necessary in order to feel right. For others, it could be a question of feeling well physically, or staring the day with exercise or breakfast. It could involve some small ritual before class.

Giving service on a daily basis is also about feeling right, I think. If you feel right, it means that you're open to what happens, you have a sense of equilibrium, and you feel confident in approaching the challenges of the day. Of course, simply depending on your mood isn't going to work. What might work is some kind of practice, whether it's putting your apron on the way you like it, reviewing any news there might be, or having your favorite tea. Practice will help to set the stage for giving great service.

What if you simply don't feel right? Then the only thing is to do your best. It may be that getting started serving customers or teaching will start to change the way you feel. It may be that focusing on others will help you start to feel right. The main thing is to pay attention to yourself, to learn to care for yourself as you develop more awareness about your own sense of well being.

Zappos: A great video about building a true service culture

Service as change agent

Service is often conceptualized as a means to an end. I think this is especially true with customer service, in the sense that serving customers is a part of getting and retaining their business. Service "for its own sake" is associated more with altruism and charitable works, and may not have any definite objectives.
Between the two concepts, however, could be a way of thinking about service as a behavior intended to change something specific, but without the idea of recompense for the one serving.
For example, managers could envision their service as a way of opening possibilities and new ways of thinking for the team members. A president could use his term in office to provide new services to the country. A waiter could take each new guest as an opportunity to transmit peace and well-being through his service. It seems to me that any position involving service implies a huge opportunity to change things.
Sometimes the spirit of this kind of service alone is enough to promote change. When people feel that another is giving of him or her self without any idea of receiving, there is a subtle shift, a sense of potential, a possibility for inspiration.

Breakthrough service

Breakthrough is a nice word, but like so many other words, its impact may be compromised by overuse.

To truly break through a barrier is powerful.

Breakthrough service is characterized by a kind of insight and generosity that overcomes barriers, whatever they may be.

Breakthrough service reaches the receiver intact and alive. It admits no obstacle, it makes things simple, it conveys authentic intention and the will to give.

A habitat for happiness: Chip Conley of Joie de Vivre

One of my favorite TED talks is this one from Chip Conley. As the owner of the Joie de Vivre hotel chain, he has a lot of insight into creating meaningful experiences for guests. A key point here is that great experiences for guests or customers come from within the organization, from the real commitment and feeling that emanate from those who give service.